Lenny Bruce
Birth Name: Leonard Alfred Schneider
Lenny Bruce was born Leonard Alfred Schneider on October 13, 1925, in Mineola, Long Island, New York. His British-born father, Myron, was a shoe clerk, his mother, Sadie, was a dancer. Lenny's pa ...Show More
I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.
I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.
"Life" is a four-letter word.
"Life" is a four-letter word.
I credit the motion picture industry as the strongest environmental factor in molding the children o Show more
I credit the motion picture industry as the strongest environmental factor in molding the children of my day. Hide
All my humor is based on destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease Show more
All my humor is based on destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing in the breadline--right in back of J. Edgar Hoover. Hide
Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday becom Show more
Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become Congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves. Hide
The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.
The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.
A lot of people say to me, "Why did you kill Christ?". I dunno. It was one of those parties, got out Show more
A lot of people say to me, "Why did you kill Christ?". I dunno. It was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know. Hide
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
[on André Previn's shock at being presented with a stolen set of books] You're not thinking straigh Show more
[on André Previn's shock at being presented with a stolen set of books] You're not thinking straight, man. If I had 90 bucks and spent it in order to get you a present, what would be a big deal in that? It wouldn't even make a dent in me! But to steal 'em for you--I'm already on parole, man, and if I had got caught, I would have gone back to jail. Now that's what I call giving you a present. Hide
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, "What Show more
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, "What I'm going to do if I grow up". Hide
I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.
I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.
If God made the body, and the body is dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
If God made the body, and the body is dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.