El Chupacabra

Frank, Rookie Jared Reese, Sgt. Andrew Blake

Gothic Kid

Andrew, Man

Deputy Clementine Johnson, Water Heater Lady, Newlywed Bride

Reading Ron

Levon French

Deputy Travis Junior, Streaker, Mime, Birdhouse Pervert, Personal Trainer, Pumpkin Pervert, Reading Radish

Agent Cowen

Lieutenant Jim Dangle, Man Shot by Wiegel, RV Driver, Weird Trucker

Fireman #1, Fireman, Paramedic

Mrs. Leonard, Doris

Frisbee

Hysterical Woman

Captain Dwayne Hernandez, 'Spanish Mike' Alvarez

Murray

Chris, Kevin the Sex Offender

Rookie Jackson

Russian Sexpot

Doctor

Mike Powers

Deputy S. Jones, Drunk Cowboy, Rufus

Mayor Hernandez

Jeffrey De La Costa

Mary Magdalene

New Jones - Deputy Culufu Garwood

Candy

Novelist, Upscale Husband

Steve Marmella, Deputy Patrick Bates, Internet Predator, Ugliest Boy in the World

Deputy Trudy Wiegel, Jackie the Hooker, Hippie Van Driver

Camerlingo Frederico, Most Wanted Man