Patsy Stone

Ed Conner

Ziggy

Mr. Schlosser

Jerry Springer

Doris

Fred

Howard Morton

Patsy

Foreign Man

Garland

David Healy, Kevin Healy

Dr. Whitman

Meryl

Dwight

Reverend Crosley

Customer #2, First Customer, Sam

Jackie Harris, Gilligan, Marsha Clark

Dr. Phillips, Jerry Gimbel, Steven

D.J. Conner, Cannibal, Carny, D.J. 'The Deej' Conner, D.J. Conner, Pilgrim, Indian, Himself, Little Rosie, Moses, Tatoo, Terror Guard...

Edgar Lang

Frank Denvers

Ken

Arnie Thomas, Arnie 'Shemp' Thomas, Jackie Thomas

Gary Hall

Bob

Heather

Molly Tilden

Roger

Peter Lundy

Charlotte Tilden